What have I to fear but separation from you, God?
The greatest pain I have ever known was when I did not take your hand when you told me to. You wanted to lead me across rough waters to the side of joy, but I wanted to be left alone; I wanted to do it on my own. And the joy I could achieve was fleeting, and now is gone. It has left a mark of pain, a brand, a thorn in my side... But I wanted to wander. I insisted that you quiet your voice for just a minute to let me make the heavy mistake I could so clearly foresee. And in this I severed myself from you, God. No greater pain is there than this.
Yet you were there all along, quieter but nonetheless calling. I knew you'd be waiting when I returned, humble and eating my words (and you were).
There is pain in the pruning of branches. Why did I let these branches grow? Though where you lead me I do not know, I know that it will be in glory and in love. Steady joy of my youth, I come running back to you.
Though it may seem all has gone wrong under the sun, you are yet near. You make my steps as sure as the deer; you make my feet to stand on the mountains.
How can I explain this to anyone? We cannot even describe "love" because we cannot describe you. You are love, and are ineffable. False love I know, for sure. It is frantic, it is fleeting. But you, my God, are tempered, tried, and older than the dust of my bones. So what can go wrong? As I live, you are there. Even if I die, you are there. From end to end of the earth and the stars. Even in my heart's resistance, you are there. Nothing on earth or in heaven or hell can separate me from your love.
I rejoice in my rejoicing,
I take your hand once more.
Lead me on to glory
lead me to that peaceful shore.
